Best Grief Advice I’ve Received After a Miscarriage

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I don’t remember who told me this but I found this transcribed note on my phone today.  If you or someone you know is grieving, I pray this little passage gives you hope and encouragement, and is a reminder that it's okay to feel. Feel the rush of emotions, allow yourself to go through the journey, with hopefulness that the person you will be in the other side is a better version of yourself. 

"Grief is a strange part of life, and it’s a cycle that should not be cut short. It cuts deep; it hits hard, and rolls over you with bone crushing waves. You need to just go through it, knowing one day you will come out better on the other side." -unknown

If someone you know, is grieving a lost love, a dream, an expectation, etc - the best thing you can do is be there for them. Be there while their pain is cutting deep wounds in their heart. Be there to pick them up after they've been knocked down by crushing waves of emotions. Even in moments where it feels like you aren't being much help, know that by being there, you are making a difference by pouring love into their life. 

The anti "I hate you, 2016" post.

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As I sat down to write my "I hate you, 2016" post, I began to feel convicted. Sure, I can easily write a long list (more like a chapter book) of crappy things that happened in the last 12 months; which includes my father-in-law's passing, my dad's struggle with cancer and my 3 miscarriages. But let's be real, that's not helpful. I'm not saying I should ignore the events that happened, they shaped the person and the heart that is entering a new year, but a ton of fierce and fabulous things occurred amongst the struggles.

In an effort to end the year for a grateful heart, I forced myself to trash the hate post and find 6 highlights to be grateful for.

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1. In february I crossed my line of bravery and started an infertility blog, challenging myself to find JOY in everyday life.

 

2. In March we celebrated Little Man's 3rd birthday and had some adventures in Big Sur, CA.

3. I completed something new and scary in May, choreographing a musical with 300+ performers that opened at The Wiltern. a historic theater in Los Angeles.

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4. Our annual family vacation included adventures in Italy and London. I was challenged to live out my life motto of finding JOY as I miscarried while in Europe.

5. Little Man started preschool in September, which brought forth more excitement than tears from both of us.

6. The end of the year challenged me to fully commit to finding JOY in everyday life. For the first time in over a decade I found JOY in the holiday season, a time that is usually rough for me. Although I experienced another miscarriage, I was able to carry a JOYFUL heart and allowed others to love and speak truth into me. 

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So while 2016 handed me my fair share of sadness, loss and disappointment, when I reflect on the year through a lens of gratefulness and JOY, I realize I rocked the year more than I thought. 

Cheers to a fierce and fabulous new year. Bring it on, 2017.