8 Things I Learned During My Summer In the Hamptons.
/Amagansett, 2014
The South Fork of Long Island. Once known for it's farming community with good potato ground, has become popular by way of shows like The Real Housewives of NYC and Khloe & Kortney Take the Hamptons.
My husband's work took us to the Hampton for 6 weeks in 2014. My time in this new place didn't start off positively and there was guilt surrounding this. Wasn't I supposed to be happy and satisfied, I was in the Hampton's for pete's sake! Unfortunately it took 3 weeks for things to turn around, and another 3 weeks to realize just how much JOY was present in my life during that summer away.
In hindsight, I wish I had appreciated my time in the Hamptons with more gratitude. On the other end of things, I reflect on my memories now and can't help but laugh. The things that occurred were so radical and ridiculous, you can't make this stuff up.
East Hampton, 2014
8 Things I learned during my Summer in the Hamptons:
1. I needed a support group of women and moms.
While my morning Starbucks date with Aiden was special, I was envious of women who had coffee dates with one another. They all seemed to be dressed so chic, chatting and supporting each other. There were many times I would sneak out like a world class ninja, hoping not be spotted with my toddler's yogurt splattered down my maxi dress. I desperately wanted someone I could talk to who wouldn't poop in their pants while I was pouring my heart out.
2. I appreciated the time I had with my son but being a SAHM was not for me.
The first couple of days was the honeymoon phase. I had arrived in this new town fully equipped with a pre loaded calendar of activities. Unfortunately, the Hamptons was bigger than I realized and our scheduled activities were over an hour away or "members only" access. At first I didn't let that get me down. We filled our days swimming in our pool, going to the park or walking around the village. Then the hard work of being a SAHM sank in. The loneliness and monotony began to drive me bananas. No amount of celeb watching helped. So I decided I needed to befriend another mom.
3. Dating other moms is tough. Dating other moms in the Hamptons was awkward, especially when you realize she's returning to Manhattan the next day, or is she?
Back in the day, when I was single and attempting to meet guys at bars, I had no problem initiating conversation. I would make sure to balance my responses with nods and laughter, and a little bit of, "Wow, you're so awesome." A compliment goes a long way, right? When I would think, "this is going so well!", the odd moment would arrive, when the conversation would start to lose momentum. I would awkwardly wait to see if he would ask for my number or find a way to ask for his. More often than not, right when I would get up the nerve, he would politely excuse himself.
Fast forward seven years, I was in the same position. This time I traded the bar for a park, and a guy for a mom-friend. I was new in town with an 18-month-old, attempting to meet other mommies. I had no problem initiation conversation as we pushed our kids on the swings. I would balance my responses with nods and laughter, and a little bit of, "Wow, you're awesome." Sound familiar? Right when I would think, "this is going so well, I'm going to schedule a play date!", that infamous odd moment would arrive and the conversation would start to lose momentum. Right when I would get up the nerve to ask for her number to schedule a play date, she would politely excuse herself.
Then one day, after many tries - I got a number! I was beyond ecstatic. Our kids were the same age with the same temperament. I quickly began imagining the many morning coffee dates we would have, similar to the ones I envied every morning at Starbucks. If I'm being honest, I was already thinking of how Aiden and I would visit yearly - just to recreate the "good ol' days" of the Summer of 2014. As she packed up she said, "I'll call you IF we return to the Hamptons in a few weeks." Turns out her family was returning to Manhattan the next day, or was she? Maybe that's just what she just told me to soften the blow. Regardless, I never heard from this mom again.
4. Hamptons FIT4MOM was my lifeline.
In the same way I was desperate for a mommy friends, I was aching for a good workout. I tried running but quickly remembered without the motivation of others, my run turned into a jog- if that. Then I found Hamptons Fit4Mom and my life shifted. I suddenly had a daily place to go where other moms supported me and accepted my quirky tendencies. Getting a good workout was secondary, it was a bonus. I started hanging out with this group of moms outside of working out - play dates, lunches, date nights, wake boarding, etc. They even connected me to an awesome babysitter so that J and I could have an occasional date night. These moms become my friends and my lifeline.
5. Pure Barre Southampton gave me my mojo back.
Pure Barre Southampton Studio - handless mic on, ready to teach.
I had recently started teaching at Pure Barre Brentwood a few months before our Hamptons move. I reached out to the Southampton location to get a class schedule; the next thing I knew, I was guest teaching a couple classes a week. Having something that was a resemblance of home made a huge difference. I met some awesome gals through this studio, and even had the privilege of teaching Madame Vice President, Joy Biden - secret service and all.
6. Triple check your rental home has a mail box before using your Amazon Prime account.
In an attempt of being prepared, I ordered all of Aiden's supplies before we left L.A. I assumed the items would be waiting for us at our home when we arrived in the Hamptons. Turns out, our house didn't have a mailbox. In the Hamptons, no mailbox - no mail of any kind.
7. Garbage pick up doesn't happen unless you schedule it.
Our garbage cans got full fast. We kept waiting for the garbage truck to arrive. Then one day it did, but it passed our house and went only to a few homes on the block. Turns out garbage trucks don't automatically stop at all house. You need to schedule a pick up. Side note - we tried throwing our garbage bags away in a dumpster in town, only to be yelled at by a crotchety old lady who claimed it was illegal to throw trash in dumpsters. Seriously?
8. The beaches are divine.
